Amber Heard, reportedly, wrote the email in 2013. And it was read in court during Depp’s libel case hearing against The Sun and NGN.
“I just don’t know if I can do this anymore. It’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Half of you, I love. Madly. The other half scares me. I can’t take him. I wish I could, but I can’t. The problem is, I never really know/understand which one I’m dealing with until it’s too late,” the Aquaman star, reportedly, wrote.
Heard also wrote about Depp’s alleged drinking. She said that when her ex-husband is intoxicated, she feels that she’s dealing with a monster.
“The abused scared insecure violent little boy. I just can’t tell where the line starts. Also, drugs seem to guarantee I will be forced to deal with the monster as well. Once again, it’s knowing what/how much/and when – which makes all the difference. Sometimes the hangover, the morning after is just as bad as the full-on disco blood bath I’ve come to expect. You live in a world full of enablers,” Amber Heard wrote.
The Rum Diary star’s email reveals that she wrote the text a day after she saw Depp passed out on the floor. Heard said that the Pirates of the Caribbean actor vomited three times. And his former head of security had to carry him from the floor.
“On the plane, Nathan mentioned how many times he’s had to break into locked doors to wake you up, after passing out on the toilet. You would have embarrassed yourself countless times if someone would be honest enough with you to tell you. To show you. If someone filmed you while you were in this state you would be mortified. It’s embarrassing just watching it happen,” Heard wrote.
Towards the end of her email, Heard said that she doesn’t plan on staying with Depp. After all, there is no reason for her to be with him.
“You made me feel, in the beginning, safe. Like you could care for me. Like I could have a family with you. You made me feel like you were a real man – that was only half of you. What I saw yesterday, and many times before is a needy man-child. I watch as other grown men have to wipe you, basically. And you get the convenient benefit of never having to remember it. That’s nice. For you,” Amber Heard wrote.
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